Sarah Giesbrecht_My Roller Coaster Life

FEAR Be afraid. Be so afraid that it scares whatever "IT" is right out of You. I have seen many things about fear recently that actually demonizes the term. I bought into it for a little while and tried to convince myself that I am not afraid. INSERT FEARS Then I suddenly realized that fear is not an enemy, unless you allow it to be. So, I say embrace it for just long enough to become sick of IT! INSERT WHAT YOU'RE SICK OF I mean, how long can you stand to be in fear? A lifet...Continue reading

Experiencing Homelessness this winter is something most of us can't imagine. Sadly, poverty is a reality for 1 in 5 children in our community. Please give gener...ously this year to the United Way's Sleepless In Our City Fundraising Campaign. On Thursday February 7th volunteers will be sleeping in their cars overnight in the Boston Pizza Parking lot to raise funds for the United Way. All donations stay 100% LOCAL. The event kicks off at 8:00 pm. Please come out and support all of the "sleepers". You can also make a donation online at http://unitedwayem.ca/event/sioc/ See more

MariLena SaBreah left my womb 19 Years ago today around 3:00 PM. I AM Thankful for all the things she taught me and for experiencing True Love for the first time. Her presence in my being was the most precious experience. When she left that safe spot, it was the most heart-wrenching pain. I have grieved her and loved her all at the same time. Every year for 9 years, I experienced the bodily feelings that I felt that day until my body rebuilt itself. I cannot be certain what kind of parent I could have been, But I know I would have been a Loving one that would have done anything to make her life full of Love. I don't ask myself what if anymore because I know now the Truth. Life, love, and relationships are forever changing here, and eternal in Spirit.

Falling, falling then landing on the screen of someone's backyard gazebo to safety, only having to struggle before the next tumble, as the material entanglement... releases. Shaking off the topple megrim, I looked around at the amazingly galactic gazebo I had just landed in before making my way out through a slit in the structure, onto the platform. Somewhat familiar, yet immensely grander than my memory recalled. Realizing my situation was completely changed from the time before when I was here, I was both saddened and be-wondered at my own attributes. Water surrounded the wooden walkway that reached far, and around the property to the house where the family was oblivious to my struggles, and enjoyed life. The water was deep and beautifully clean as the Moon glistened its sparkle on the still waters. As if one-of-a-kind, fallen from the sky, having lost the use of my wings, I sat on the edge near the water by a tree in contemplation. Looking up, a triangle of a dozen or more others like me lit up the night's sky with glorious colours so vibrant that nothing could compare. No longer was I alone, even if I was grounded and White as a Moth. Tears of joy streamed along my tiny cheeks as I stretched my little white wings to greet my friends in the sky, and rejoiced in proclamation: "They are Real! They are Real! They are Real!" Then it occurred to me: "I AM ONE". THE FALLEN MOTH FAERIE See more

Rejected? Battles of wits, pushing limits, in seeking out all avenues as children often do, conversations just did not happen smoothly and permission was rarely... ever granted at the first try. Holding off as long as possible to have the conversation, I finally worked up the courage to approach Mom to ask. Sure enough she said yes! Running in the lush green, ankle-deep grass in the yard, I heard the screen door slam about 250 metres behind me. Somehow, I think I flew over the old wooden porch after exiting the door, then down a few steps before hitting fiery sand then grass, towards the horse Flass. Untying the Rope she was tied with, all the while eyeing the fence I was about to climb, in order to mount Flass for a ride. Covering her back with an empty grain-feed-sack, I swung a leg over, covering my knees with the skirt of my dress. Flass, was a beautiful brown horse with a little white on her chest, as though she had a stamp of Purity near her heart. Her kindness and gentle manner was reliable and trusted, even with us children. We rode down the Red Dirt Road toward my older sister's place, through the valley filled with hot white sand on the warm South American Sumner day, for a visit as the Golden Sunshine "blonded" my hair even more. Her gentle manner was a little slow for my exuberance, and I recalled rushing her to no avail on our way there. There's something to be said about being one of the youngest children of a large family of 15, where your oldest sisters and brothers have children near your age. It is a great pleasure to grow up with those you love near your side, experiencing what you are also. Playing with my niece and nephew while Flass grazed and rested up for the one kilometer ride home, the ride home took on a whole other feel. There must have been something in my sister's yard or grass. Flass, had energy and spirit! We made it home in a Flash! Entering the long driveway that grew lemon trees on one side and line on the other, with the ground covered in beautiful scenery of vascular plants with little flowers of all colors vibrant as imaginable. We cut the corner nearly hitting the tree that edged and crested the driveway, adorning beautiful red flowers, at the speed my earlier enthusiasm paired. Finally the horse had picked up on my spirited sprightliness and expressed vitality. Flass always had command and assured the safety of her passengers, even when my little sister and I both sat on her back or rode in the buggy behind her. As we arrived in our yard on this day both of us appear to notice the clothing line at the exact same time. Obviously she knew not to run (me while on her back) into the line (of danger). Too late for a sensible deceleration, Flass anchored her hooves into the pasture plush and green after yesterday's rainfall. A joyous ride home indeed was had: including that of flight. Sitting in the Deep green grass, in shock about my plight, I think she laughed as I lay perplexed in reaching my perspective. It wasn't like her to throw me from her, as she'd always been protective. Suppertime banter revealed more than my shame. Sure I was laughed at by my big brothers, but from my father, some wisdom came: you see he knew what happened after I told my story. When all laughing was done, he told us the horse's Glory. When he had first gotten her from the man who had her before, this was one of the selling point of her training or a "Metaphor". When both of us saw the clothing line as we approached it, both of us ducked down. I slipped to the side of my horse Flass slightly, avoiding the line. In turn, her instincts kicked in and she STOPPED! You see, in war time, this was a method used for safety. Slipping to the side of your horse resulted in an immediate halt to avoid a stabbing. She was merely following her instinctive training and responding to her Rider's actions. This little Rider however, had no idea how intelligent of a horse she was riding, and what might happen in certain situations. Had I been in a saddle however, as a warrior would likely have been, and expected the actions of the big and beautiful horse, the situation would have been completely different. The end! See more

Flying, flying but horses and dogs can't fly. Can they? The big brown angry Bear, with paws up surprised us both by attacking the horse, drawing the Wagon thro...ugh the Mudd beside the fence. With one miraculous swoop, we swung around as we lifted off the ground. I looked behind to see if the wagon followed. With a sway it was dangling behind, as I found myself atop my little dog, helping her clap her Wings but the were only her legs. When I awoke, I had an overwhelming sense that My dog had died. I reached over for her, and she was happy to see me awakening. Moral of this dream. I had been thinking about how my life has been transformed through making recognitions about myself and through my relationship with her, and helping her overcome many challenges she faced. Behaviors that were formed as a result of the treatment she experienced as a young pup. It is amazing what similarities and differences, can be recognized and a treatment plan divised from and through this process. We saved each other and we know IT. See more

YOU ARE SEEN First I wanted to push you back but then I felt that you needed to be coddled and comforted like a child having a temper tantrum, oblivious to their surroundings while self absorbed in an upset that can only be cured with love. Yes, emotions can run high wherever you are and whatever you are doing. We are observers in all areas of life. Our children especially do learn from those they look towards and up to for guidance. Just the other day, a fifty some year old ...Continue reading

I REMEMBERED THAT I FORGOT! In my most precious moments, I find myself alone with the water running. As though it cleanses my thoughts and sets the scene for clarity and connection. Today, I remembered that I forgot! I wondered if it was okay, and a sense of sadness and fear swept over me. My inner child cowered, I felt my stomach recoil, as my adult self quickly rushed in to console it at the thought of having done something wrong by forgetting something so important. At l...east at one time, it was most prominent in my mind. Why could I not remember it now?! Grief is a transient process and memories fade. The journey can be complicated. What I once believed I would never forget a moment of, has left the conscious part of my brain, and I am alright with that. It's okay! Every moment about the day you died need not remain first in my mind. What does, is the feelings of, and the eternal Love in between Souls. See more

How to put into words, emotions that arise about a death a year ago of my 21 year old Missy. This morning, I grabbed the food out of the fridge as always to feed the dog and cat and mouthed, "Here you go, Lula and this is for you Missy". Of course it was for Romeo the cat. Apparently, Missy's Spirit wanted me to know she is right here with me. A comfort, Yes. Did I ball and cry my eyes to a redness until the front of my jammies were soaked? Yep! Just the other night, I reflec...ted (with a friend) how she used to sit on the back of my recliner and purr one minute while sometimes licking my chair, and the next attacking my head like it was her Nip-toy. When she was younger, she would sit on my shoulder and purr so sweetly while I would-sit anywhere really but especially while at the computer. When you were a baby, you slept on my side (atop of me) and listened to my heartbeat. I miss Your physical presence, Ms. Mischievous. How you used to raise your voice at me when you wanted to go for your walk. Blind and still leading the way around the block. My black Beauty! You certainly were an instigator. Yes I feel sad, but also blessed to have had you with me for so long, and to have experienced your love. See more

YOUR LAST DAY SEEN SMILING I remember your last day with us well. You made us all laugh. You tried to stir up some disgust at the lunch table as we ate one of your favourite meals that we did not often get to eat, as the cheese of the enchiladas stretched out when you picked it up off your plate and ate with such joy and animation that entertained us all. You made sure we knew that your attempts were such that we would be disgusted and give you ours. After all, you were a gro...Continue reading