Swamp page

crashed into another dude's car. he looked chill so I didn't drive away. we ended up sharing one of those small coronas later and he didn't call the cops

all my family loves the Super Bowl because it gives us something to talk about

when they caught me stealing the xmas tree today i said "didn't you steal it first?"

good morning to everyone except dudes that play metal

people always ask me what i want for thanksgiving and it's like ??? fuck off mike, i'm just trying to win that turkey trot