The North Bay Bay

Oh, the humanity! Hello North Bay and a Happy New Year's! We hope you're enjoying the holidays and getting some much deserved time off to relax and recharge. Thanks to your support, The North Bay Bay published 141 articles, 7 Bite of the Bay retrospectives, 2 shorts films, and 1 house listing in 2020. We also found out whose pizza North Bay loves best. #sorrytoppers... A big thank you to everyone who read, shared, and commented on our articles and videos this past year. Your feedback is the only thing that keeps The North Bay Bay going because no one here is getting paid. Except the raccoon intern we have to pay him or he starts biting and the hospital ran out of rabies shots two weeks ago. Here’s to another year of satire and bad photoshops. Yours truly, The North Bay Bay

I had the stickers assessed and every single one was VG+ to Mint on the scale. When you take into account inflation and their incredible rarity, I have no doubt these are going to set me up for life. http://thenorthbaybay.ca/man-discovers-box-of-escape-movem/

Having added two new sport categories pole dancing and coupon shopping the North Bay HoF is now inducting local athletes Barbara Weathers, Judith Lowe, and Vixen. http://thenorthbaybay.ca/north-bay-hof-adds-coupon-shoppin/

Despite unanimously claiming North Bay ain’t afraid of no Krampus, City Council passed a motion 12-0 to officially declare all council members as being too big to fit in a sack. http://thenorthbaybay.ca/santa-not-visiting-north-bay-send/

The Airbnb promises a spacious, nearly 40 square foot tent pitched in the heart of the city which will give renters a unique outdoor experience unlike any other. http://thenorthbaybay.ca/north-bay-opens-tent-city-airbnb/

After crashing his canoe somewhere on the shores of Wolf Lake, Councillor Mayne took a picture of his wrecked canoe and sent it begging for help, only to accidentally win a photo competition. http://thenorthbaybay.ca/chris-mayne-still-hoping-for-resc/

We would like to remind everyone that while the police 'can't be everywhere at once,' a fleet of flamethrower-equipped Terror-600 Rapid Response Drones can. http://thenorthbaybay.ca/parking-by-law-drones/

Their hope was that by equipping the Heritage Railway with a uranium reactor and accelerating the miniature train at an advanced rate of speed that they might travel back through time. http://thenorthbaybay.ca/leaked-doc-includes-plan-to-time-/

"Before any questions could be asked about the change Mayor Al McDonald dropped his mic. He then proceeded to snatch any microphones the media had, recording or not, and dropped them all as well." #tbt http://thenorthbaybay.ca/city-motto-changed/

Each turtle is an excellent jumper and possess three rows of razor-edged teeth. Some can run up to speeds of 20 km/hr. They are one of nature’s most perfect predators. #tbt http://thenorthbaybay.ca/worker-eaten-by-turtles/

I want to see businesses in North Bay succeed, says McDonald, and I’m sure there’s other ways to do that, but Well, daddy needs his chicken, banana pepper, and pineapple pizza. It’s the best pizza ever made. I call it ‘The Téléfrançais!’ smiles McDonald, because it’s weird, unsettling and has Ananas. http://thenorthbaybay.ca/mcdonald-investing-one-pizza-at-a/

Trenton claims the impetus for his thorough anti-invader plan was protecting his belongings. Though I have a lot less of them now because catapults are really expensive. http://thenorthbaybay.ca/north-bay-homeowner-plan-stop-inv/

This was on Worthington St. this morning. Its time that North Bay gets a real understanding of what is happening in our streets. 1. Nobody should have to live this way. 2. We all have a choice to live responsibly. 3. I am running a business.... There are plenty of services that can help these people get their life straightened out. We all know someone who has chosen this path. It is a choice. Earning less than $120K a year and not being a satirical news site editor who in his spare time sells $1.3 million homes shouldnt be my responsibility, nor should it fall to the police to manage these sorts of people (though Im not against it should they wander onto my property). Growing up white and privileged has nothing to do with this. This mom should be out working for more money so she can buy something on Airport and not live in a $220K shack. Also, one of those kids could, like, start a lemonade stand or something. They look like they can walk. Dont @ me with real, actual things I can do. Ill just threaten to send these middle-income people to your home as a response. I feel like that might be devaluing them as living human beings but I currently lack the insight, empathy, or will to spend any time considering this. #humanchattel I will be highlighting all the horrible things like this that I see in the suburbs every day, and I will be working diligently to clean up our city. By that I mean Ill harangue Councillors on Facebook until I get too many responses, realize most of them are against me, and then Ill delete this post. Get your act together, North Bay. If youre not making 140K a year and have at least two Audis, then whats even the point? Philip St. George, Senior Editor #ilovethiscity #northbayontario #investnorthbay #belegendary #getyourshittogether

I could understand if Scott was selling his right kidney for charity or something, says MacLean. But there’s too many ads and there’s hundreds of photos of kidneys on the Buy & Sell so they can’t possibly all be his. http://thenorthbaybay.ca/scott-robertson-sells-kidneys-on-/

#ThrowbackThursday to 2017, when North Bay got its first Taco Bell, complete with a Taco Bell Superstore Fresh Beef Slaughterhouse http://thenorthbaybay.ca/north-bay-taco-bell/

Cascades is going to be home to an eatery and buffet, as well as the hundreds of people who will come for games and entertainment every day. Adding a little titillation to the mix cant hurt. http://thenorthbaybay.ca/north-bay-casino-eyeing-strip-club/

The spacecraft will carry three human passengers including Councillor Tignanelli as well as nearly 3000 live cormorants. We figure theyll either thrive on Mars or die instantly, explains Tignanelli. If they dont make it, then technically Mars killed them. http://thenorthbaybay.ca/north-bays-new-rocket-ready-for-m/

That's a great big bag of yikes there, Bonfield.

#ThrowbackThursdayday to when the O.P.P. took things to the nest level http://thenorthbaybay.ca/mattawa-o-p-p-capture-a-duck/

"What's that you hear outside? The rumble of trucks, fartcan cars, and the obnoxious ear-splitting cacophony of a 400 lbs. man on a 500 lbs. motorcycle?" "Nope. Just the occasional ring of a bell and the cool, fall breeze." http://thenorthbaybay.ca/cassells-should-be-converted-into/

"This catapult has a verified range of almost 800 feet, which means that from my house on Fraser I can rain down thousands of gobstoppers on children anywhere from here to 6th Avenue." http://thenorthbaybay.ca/north-bay-inventor-delivering-can/

#throwbackthursday to the roll out of a North Bay nightclub too hot to handle. http://thenorthbaybay.ca/chop-shop-nightclub/

Hotdog Chocolate offers many tasty treats, but its flagship offering is a steaming cup of hot chocolate made with recycled hotdog water. A cup of Hotdoglate, the hot chocolate percolated in thickly steeped hotdog water, is $4.00. http://thenorthbaybay.ca/hotdog-chocolate-truck-offers-uni/

Awwwwwwwww yes!

To honour North Bay PRIDE's upcoming virtual event, country station SK-RAT is dedicating two entire weeks to spinning The Village Peoples third studio album, Cruisin, for 24 hours a day, non-stop. DJ and Village People aficionado Matthew Goose Sookram describes the album as a timeless classic. Playing the album for 336 consecutive hours is going to be absolute bliss.... http://thenorthbaybay.ca/local-station-to-play-cruisin-for/

#throwbackthursday to when 2 pounds of raw Uranium-235 was purchased at the Treasure Hunt http://thenorthbaybay.ca/treasure-hunt-uranium/

I quickly found that the more controversial the comment, the more upvotes I got. So after a while, thats all I started writing. http://thenorthbaybay.ca/baytoday-toaster/

#throwbackthursday to when City Transit rolled out some new efficiencies http://thenorthbaybay.ca/city-transit-adopts-tuck-and-roll/

Wait youre telling me hes the party leader?! shrieks a visibly alarmed Fedeli. I thought we were voting for a new Batman! http://thenorthbaybay.ca/fedeli-confident-otoole-will-make/

We had a bit of a hiccup in that we ran out of plastic overalls and those funny little yellow rain hats, explains Dr. Vann. Also, someone auto-inflated a 16 foot emergency raft in an operating room and somehow it caught fire. http://thenorthbaybay.ca/health-centre-tsunami-drill-mostl/

Hes been doing it for weeks. He walks up, takes a firm shoulder-width stance, and starts screaming. Ive also spotted him shouting at Creative Learning and CIBC and Pizza Pizza, so it might just be a general hatred of all buildings. http://thenorthbaybay.ca/man-wins-screaming-match-against-/

I was coming in to buy some paint from Home Hardware and drove right into it, explains Brent Cook. It was deep enough to seriously damage my suspension, but at least I got this cake, I guess. http://thenorthbaybay.ca/nipissing-plaza-celebrates-700th-/

Calm down there, Cecil's Brewhouse and Kitchen.

#throwbackthursday to when vicious gangs roved the city. They still do, but they used to as well. http://thenorthbaybay.ca/hood-punchers-gang-biggest-threat/

If you thought Council was dysfunctional before, THEN JUST WAIT UNTIL THIS FRIDAY! OOOOHHHH YYYEEEAAAAHHH!!!! http://thenorthbaybay.ca/west-nipissing-council-to-settle-/

Before you say anything Im not stupid, says Mendoza. I know that other cities might just ship the homeless people back, but thats why we need to raise even more money to keep shipping them out. Its a war of attrition, in which we continue to treat the homeless like sub-human chattel whom we can, at any time, exercise our will over solely because we have a mailing address. http://thenorthbaybay.ca/kickstarter-program-looks-to-bus-/

"I recently saw an article from a biker who said they modified their bikes exhaust in order to combat distracted drivers. They made many great points about how sound alerts people to things. Thats why I wear air horns on my feet." http://thenorthbaybay.ca/motorcycles-are-loud-so-i-wear-ai/

#throwbackthursday to when the new Burger King was first announced http://thenorthbaybay.ca/local-seagulls-stoked-for-burger-/

Deitra Hudson, an analyst, says that the crystal works by gently, gradually pulling people who have left the city back to North Bay. The elderly or soon to be retired seem to feel it the most. http://thenorthbaybay.ca/scientists-discover-giant-crystal/

McDonald cited Toronto, Calgary and Sundridge as other booming one name cities. http://thenorthbaybay.ca/mcdonald-vows-to-change-north-bay/

Weve been asking the people of North Bay for YEARS what they want to see and the people answered loud and clear: creativity, announced North Bay Mayor Al McDonald in an exclusive press conference streamed live from his OnlyFans account http://thenorthbaybay.ca/city-council-introduces-a-creativ/

*sad Baby Spice noises*

#throwbackthursday to when the City chose its official bird that nothing bad will ever happen to ever http://thenorthbaybay.ca/north-bays-bird/

Listen, back in 2004 we werent thinking too far ahead, explains Torres. Naming it One Kids Place may appear short-sighted now, but at the time helping a single child looked like an achievable goal. One which we absolutely nailed. http://thenorthbaybay.ca/one-kids-place-commits-to-helping/

The leaked two page document details what husbands left at the Fannys Daycare will be doing. Activities include crafts, show and tell, and a robust mathematics curriculum. http://thenorthbaybay.ca/leaked-fannys-husband-daycare-sch/

#throwbackthursday to a daring, high waddle chase http://thenorthbaybay.ca/mattawa-o-p-p-capture-a-duck/

Well, Redbridge Dry is a little ale I just kinda cooked up one day, explains Preston. Id say its got a real particular flavour that most local folksll like. Sbout as dry as a frog in April, but dont nobody seem to mind. http://thenorthbaybay.ca/redbridge-dry/

"The pool itself is square and about the size of a large building, which gave my family and I a lot of room to float, swim and frolic about." http://thenorthbaybay.ca/main-st-pool-could-use-some-work/