Always Late to the Party

This room, or closet if you may, serves 2 purposes. It's where I work and it's where I do the majority of my self care. I know those two things don't sound like they should share the same 15 square feet, but they do because both of these things make me happy. ... During the day the sun shines through the window providing the perfect environment to get shi*t done. I shut my door and the focus begins. But at night the warm glow of my lamp helps to release the days worries and anxieties. This is my happy place. GET YOURSELF A HAPPY PLACE. I don't care if it's cooking in your kitchen, walking a nature trail, the plant stand in the corner of your room, or a space somewhere in your head. Just get one and give it a positive purpose. This is where I learn, practice mindfulness, spark creativity, and most importantly, this is where I grow. It's a space that provides an incredible sense of freedom from my mental illness for a little while. But there is a catch. It's called a happy place for a reason, which means no negativity allowed. You don't go here when you're mad or upset. In order to enter this space you need to leave that sh*t at the door and that is the one boundary I suggest you firmly put in place. Mindset is KEY when starting out on your mental wellness journey and negative thoughts = negative results. I know this sounds like a load of BS. I get it. How on earth am I supposed to pretend like my illness isn't out to kill me and just "be happy?" Unfortunately, that part does depend on you. But if you've made it this far into this post then something tells me you're ready anyway. You can't just "be happy" and I get that. But this is why you need a happy place. When you're truly focusing on yourself and/or something you love to do and you're doing in your designated space, you feel comfort. The joy and calmness you feel inside of that designated space becomes infectious. You want more so you stay, and suddenly, leaving your negativity behind becomes second nature. Learning how to rid your mind and body of unnecessary negativity is an important step in the right direction. Start small, start slow, but start today. You're ready anyway.

!! ANNOUNCEMENT !! It is so important to keep the conversation going when it comes to mental health. No one should ever be made to feel as they are alone throughout any part of the process. Thank you to everyone who shared their story for #BellLetsTalk day. Your story making a difference. In celebration of #BellLetsTalk, I'm excited to announce the launch of my new WEBSITE and my very first BLOG POST! ... Check out the website for a bonus blog post too! www.alwayslatetotheparty.ca

Sharing some exciting news tonight at 8pm! Stay tuned!Sharing some exciting news tonight at 8pm! Stay tuned!

So many tears Sweet Mama, you're doing just fine. . . When you first have children they talk about the challenges of parenting....the struggles of a baby waking in the night, ... the toddler who won’t stay in their bed, the cost of childcare, injuries from sports... Having to take off work to pick them up from school when they don’t feel well, helping them with homework, a messy house, the never ending laundry, the cost to buy school clothes, packing their lunches.... You watch their eyes light up on Christmas morning....and try to soak in the magic of those moments. You coach them in sports, rushing to practices and ballgames...and tote them all over the country to let them play the game they love...no matter how exhausting or expensive it becomes. Life is just so busy that you rarely even stop to think what the end of those days look like. In fact, it’s not really even something you can wrap your mind around. You go into it thinking that 18-20 years sounds like a long time.... Then suddenly hours turn into days...days into months...and months into years. That little person that used to crawl up next to you in bed and cuddle up to watch cartoons...suddenly becomes this young adult who hugs you in the hallway as they come and go. And the chaos and laughter that used to echo throughout your home....gets filled with silence and solitude. You’ve learned how to parent a child who needs you to care for and protect them....but have no clue how the whole letting go thing is supposed to work. So you hold on as tight as you can...wondering how time passed so quickly...feeling guilty that you missed something.... Because even though you had 20 years.....it just somehow doesn’t seem like it was enough. You ask yourself so many questions... Did you teach them the right lessons? Did you read them enough books as a child? Spend enough time playing with them? How many school parties did you have to miss? Do they really know how much you love them? What could I have done better as a parent? .....When it’s time for them to go, it all hits you like a ton of bricks. And all you can do is pray....hope....and trust that God will protect them as they start to make their way into the world alone. Parenting is by far the most amazing experience of your life....that at times leaves you exhilarated....while others leave you heartbroken. But one thing is certain.....it’s never enough time... So for all the parents with young children...whose days are spent trying to figure out how to make it through the madness... Exhausted day in and day out... Soak. It. All. In. Because one day....all those crazy days full of cartoons, snuggles, sleep overs, Christmas morning magic, ballgames, practices and late night dinners... All come to an end. And you’re left hoping that you did enough right, so that when they spread their wings.... They’ll fly... Credit to the Author: @MistyBrewerLee

You think you'll have the energy if you just put it off until tomorrow, but then tomorrow comes. You want so badly to be able to keep up. You would give anything to be able to go a day without having to track your every mood, energy level, emotion and reaction. ... Making sure you don't use up all of your energy in one day so that you can still function for the rest of the week. You've been working so hard to keep your mental health in check and all it does is keep reminding you that you're tired of having to try so hard. You've gone days trying to convince yourself to just get up, to go shower, to go for a walk. You're stuck in this space inside of your head. Nothing happens there, but you stay. There's nothing to see or hear or feel. It's an empty space that goes on forever. Sometimes it's a bright space and other times you're sitting in the dark, but always alone. - It's been 6 days. 6 days since I've done the dishes. For 6 days I have wasted all of my energy looking at a pile of dishes. How? By worrying. By feeling shame. By praying that it won't be long until I feel better again. So I sat in my empty space where I felt nothing. - I know depression can get to be too much. I've felt the weight, I've seen the darkness, I've endured the pain. I know it's hard. Tonight I may only have enough energy to sort the dishes into neater piles but I'm trying. Each day is a new fight and there's a reason you're fighting so hard through this. Just know I'm proud of you for it. Keep going.