The Ross Rules

Misplaced modifier: a grammatical construct whereby a modifier can be misinterpreted as being associated with a word other than the one intended. Today's example. . . After missing nine games with a ligament tear in his right leg, #Sens head coach Guy Boucher is hopeful that Brady Tkachuk could return to the Sens' lineup on Thursday.

Depending on how many people were involved in the writing of the op-ed, and the input of NYT editors and lawyers, it may be possible to divine the author through the analysis of vocabulary, grammar, and syntax. You may recall that the Unabomber was identified in this way after the publication of his manifesto. That was 25 years ago, and the science of data-driven content analysis has evolved considerably since then.

This is fascinating: Mister Rogers' rules for talking to children (from a forthcoming book, "The Good Neighbor: The Life and Work of Fred Rogers"). State the idea you wish to express as clearly as possible, and in terms preschoolers can understand. Example: It is dangerous to play in the street. Rephrase in a positive manner, as in It is good to play where it is safe.... Rephrase the idea, bearing in mind that preschoolers cannot yet make subtle distinctions and need to be redirected to authorities they trust. As in, Ask your parents where it is safe to play. Rephrase your idea to eliminate all elements that could be considered prescriptive, directive, or instructive. In the example, that’d mean getting rid of ask: Your parents will tell you where it is safe to play. Rephrase any element that suggests certainty. That’d be will: Your parents can tell you where it is safe to play. Rephrase your idea to eliminate any element that may not apply to all children. Not all children know their parents, so: Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play. Add a simple motivational idea that gives preschoolers a reason to follow your advice. Perhaps: Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play. It is good to listen to them. Rephrase your new statement, repeating the first step. Good represents a value judgment, so: Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play. It is important to try to listen to them. Rephrase your idea a nal time, relating it to some phase of development a preschooler can understand. Maybe: Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play. It is important to try to listen to them, and listening is an important part of growing.

Just back from helping the team at Tourism Kamloops transition to full-on digital marketing. Did presentations on the Ross Rules (effective communication), Smart Content (think brand journalism, not marketing fluff), and The Power of Story (how and why stories engage people emotionally). The city itself is transitioning from blue-collar pit stop between Vancouver and Calgary to a great place to spend a day or twomuch more there than first meets the eye.

Hilarity, McSweeney's variety. Is the seafood buffet on Sundays fresh and free? (Thanks Suzan Wookey.)

Dear men who send dick pics: A Match.com study found that 88% of women users said grammar in messaging was the single most important quality they judged a potential date on.

Cool new Ross Rules website courtesy of the multi-talented Lauren Ross.

Most content is consumed on a smartphone. People don't really read on a small screen, they scan. This has huge implications for the best way to structure written material for engagement and comprehension. BE UPFRONT: Say the most important thing first. BE CONCISE: Use simple language and short sentences. BE DELIBERATE: Brief paragraphs. White space. Subheads.

One of the ROSS RULES is BE DELIBERATE. Not to pick on the National Gallery, but the placing of "only" in the post below leads to ambiguity. Is the show on view in Ottawa until Sept. 4, then on view elsewhere? Is it on view only in Ottawa, and only until Sept. 4? Is the word "only" needed at all? National Gallery of Canada... (Sponsored) A thousand works of artfeaturing new acquisitions and exceptional loansonly on view in Ottawa until September 4, 2017. See more

My Ross Rules presentation is fabulous. Millions of people have seen it and they all think it’s great. You’d love it, I guarantee it. Anybody who doesn’t love it is a loser. I’m a winner. Who doesn’t want to be a winner like me? Winners know how to communicate. That’s what I teach in my presentation, how to communicate like a winner, and everybody loves it. If you don’t love it, get outta here, you’re a loser. Forget about other presenters. They’re disgusting. They oughta be locked up. If you see one, punch ’em in the face. The Ross Rules is the presentation you need for your organization. Ask anybody. It’s uuuge. It’s gonna get even uuuger. I know how to write good and women find it a big turn-on. An extremely credible source told me everybody needs to write good and nobody writes as good as me.

How to muddle, blur, and overcomplicate. If it's still intelligible, obfuscate some more. This piece is hilarious.

Effective communication is concise. Find words that don't need to be there and remove them. "That," "but," and "very" can often be omitted. And the present participle (root + "ing") can usually be tightened. I believe that she goes swimming each morning. I believe she swims each morning.

At a Ross Rules presentation last week, a smart young woman confessed that she avoids writing "affect" and "effect" because she fears misusing them. Third time I've heard that, once from a senior executive in Vancouver. If you think of "affect" as a verb meaning "to influence" and "effect" as a noun meaning "result," you're pretty much covered. Here's where it gets tricky: "effect" is also a verb (meaning "to bring about"you effect change by passing legislation). And "affec...t" is also a noun (meaning "the manifestation of an emotion"many trauma victims have a flat affect). "Affect" gets even trickier. As a verb it can also mean "to fake"he affected a British accent. Ditto adjectivallyhis British accent was affected and unconvincing. Meanwhile, "affective," another adjective, means relating to moods or feelingsthe torturer clearly had an affective disorder. Most people won't often encounter these usages. Keep "affect" and "effect" straight by thinking RAVEN. Remember: affect/verb, effect/noun.

If you don't know the New Yorker's "Comma Queen," Mary Norris, you're missing out. Here she is on dangling participles.

English is ever-evolving, and digital communication has accelerated the process. About a billion new emails are sent every five minutes. If that's a storm, texting is a full-blown blizzard.

Fascinating how quickly neologisms get widely adopted these days. My accountant said "judgy" last week, so it's official, even if I find the word cringeworthy, aka "cringey."

Attention grammar nerds: Big data meets English usage.