Trillium Counselling

Mental Health DailyTip 5- (excerpted from my article previously published in Psychology Today. See link below for full article.) Stay aware that your partner is going to be affected by your statewhat you say and do and how you look at them. This is called co- regulation and it is a normal part of relationships. Stay on the calm side while your partner is expressing criticism, complaint, or disappointment. ... This will ultimately help you get through the conflict more harmoniously. This is different than numbing out or distracting yourself so you don’t get triggered; it is more like giving your partner respect and an opportunity to share with you what is happening in their world. And remember: No matter how different or irrational some one else’s opinion seems, it makes perfect sense in their world, so be curious and find out what it is. https://www.psychologytoday.com//please-help-us-communicat

The Cure for Quarantine Boredom

Here's another spoken word that will hopefully pick you up right now and remind you to keep your attention on your close relationships and the care they need.

Don’t believe everything you think. Mental Health tip April 5 We are wired with a negativity bias. This has contributed to our survival as a species. ... This means that things that are PERCEIVED as a threat or danger impact us at least 5x more than pleasurable experiences. When painfully anxious, it can be helpful: 1. to talk to yourself in soothing kind words 2. remind yourself not to believe everything you think when your thinking is catastrophic. The feelings are real and need to be validated, but the danger is sometimes just a piece of rope on the road and not a poisonous snake. Harsh words we hear or say to another are also felt more intensely. That is why we need 5 positive comments to simply neutralize one hurtful one. Appreciating those around us is so important. Read my article in Psychology Today to get some tips. Enjoy today!!!!

Mental Health Tip April 4, 2020 BOX BREATHING This is good for when you are feeling stressed, anxiety, fear.... Counting while you breathe engages parts of the brain that divert attention from the stress centre of the brain and helps us feel in control. Practice with yourself and your kids when you are not stressed so it is more familiar when you need it. Count 4 beats as you breathe in Count 4 beats as you hold Count 4 beats as you breathe out Count 4 beats as you hold Smile and repeat - BTW smiling actually engages positive parts of the brain!! In fact, doing a smile meditation where you hold a small smile as you meditate and do rhythmic breathing can uplift our mood! Who knew?

Well....today may not seem like the day to give you a big thumbs up but I am going to give you two. I was finishing up my shift at the COVID clinic this after...noon when the new shift of doctors and nurse practitioners began to make their way in. The clinic was quiet. Unfortunately, most of the people we saw were health care workers who had been exposed in their work places. We swabbed every one. It takes a steely determination and professionalism to keep yourself focused on the job at hand when dealing with a highly transmissible virus like COVID 19. There were quiet lulls in the day when we all sat, fully decked in our PPE with our hands folded in our laps just chatting, sharing our COVID 19 stories, updating each other with the latest stats and the newest developments in our city. I could feel the extra layer of stress knowing that we were about to hear the provincial projections for this virus. I listened to the CBC on the drive home. This is the first statement I heard: Provincial health experts say they expect COVID-19 could kill 3,000 to 15,000 people in Ontario over the course of the coronavirus pandemic, the ramifications of which could last up to two years. That's if we do nothing. This is the next thing I heard: Projected Ontario cases by April 30th with no intervention, meaning no social distancing, school or business closures would have been 300,000 infected and 6,000 deaths. With the existing interventions there will be 80,000 infections and 1600 deaths. That's if we do nothing more than what we are doing now. If we do more, the projected number of infected by the end of April will be 12,500 with 200 deaths. Can we press pause here for a second? Look at that. Our current collaborative efforts, our ability to follow our incredibly strong and intelligent leadership has prevented 220,000 infections and 4,400 deaths already. Collectively we have saved thousands of lives. It is working. Two thumbs up. This is great news. The situation is dire. We are in war-like circumstances. Life will not be the same and we will continue to suffer....but we are winning. So, what's next? More aggressive physical distancing measures until the end of April. A paired down list of essential services and an even greater plea to please stay home. Why? Because our goal is 12,500 infections and 200 deaths. Because our goal is to save thousands more while protecting our health care system from becoming overwhelmed. I cannot believe how brilliant we have been. From our federal, provincial and municipal leaders to our top health experts, mathematicians and scientists to our front line health care workers and then ..... to you and me in our living rooms waiting it out patiently and believing, beyond a shadow of doubt that we will be more than OK. I can't thank you enough. It is not over yet. If we stay the course this will not last 18 months to 2 years. It may linger into the fall with more and more restrictions being carefully lifted over the summer and then by early 2021, we crush this thing with a vaccine. Here is what we need. It is time to understand the magnificent depths of our strength and resilience. To push the fear away and get to work with purpose and determination. Now is when we start carrying each other selflessly, pulling together like we have never done before. Tomorrow's post is all about masks. Sleep well. You deserve it. Please share.

Don’t believe everything you think. Mental Health tip April 5 We are wired with a negativity bias. This has contributed to our survival as a species. ... This means that things that are PERCEIVED as a threat or danger impact us at least 5x more than pleasurable experiences. When painfully anxious, it can be helpful: 1. to talk to yourself in soothing kind words 2. remind yourself not to believe everything you think when your thinking is catastrophic. The feelings are real and need to be validated, but the danger is sometimes just a piece of rope on the road and not a poisonous snake. Harsh words we hear or say to another are also felt more intensely. That is why we need 5 positive comments to simply neutralize one hurtful one. Appreciating those around us is so important. Read my article in Psychology Today to get some tips. Enjoy today!!!!

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Daily Mental Health Tip #6 EXCERCISE Don’t scroll down!! Hang in here and read some more.... We should be moving our bodies 5 minutes out every 60. Not simply for physical well being but because it is also REALLY important for healthy brain function. You want a healthy brain, right? Get regular exercise. For indoors do stretching and find something on YouTube you can follow along with (or one of the live classes on FB or zoom being offered by some locals). Jump rope, do yoga, get a tread mill or gently jog in place. Outside do a brisk walk around the block. Whatever- Just get your butt moving for a few minutes every hour.

Daily Mental Health Tips Day #4 It is easy to get on each others nerves when our regular routines are disrupted. People react to stress in different and often opposing ways. ... One wants more space, one wants more connection. Using a communication technique like reflective listening (also called Active Listening)- where you feed back what the other has said without adding your own stuff -can slow down reactions and help understand and have empathy for each other. If you want a hand out on this Just PM me and I’ll send it out.

Daily Mental Health Tips Day #3 Get as much sunlight as you can. This may be good time to get a SAD light which is a full spectrum light that gives the same benefits as sunlight. It has no UV rays and helps regulate our sleep rhythms and boost our mood. They are available online at Costco and Amazon for about $60.

Daily Mental Health Tips Day #2 Start a daily practice of sharing 3 things you appreciate about each of your household members and 3 things you are grateful for. ... Our brain registers negative input over positive. So we need to feed ourselves and each other 5-7 positive messages to overcome ONE negative one. (This is why hurtful words can have such lasting affect). Again, routines are impactful so pick a time to do this daily. At breakfast/ Dinner? Before going to sleep? If any one is feeling low or kids are worked up- sit them down and tell them what you appreciate about them. Often kids act out when they are feeling insecure- when the attachment bond is shaky. So plop them on your lap and sing a song about how much you love/appreciate them. Yana Hoffman RP 00783

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