Ramblings from the Delinquent in all of us

This is me. All of me. Both good and bad. The things about me that I both love and hate. The humour, the kindness, the depression, anxiety, and occassional suicidal thoughts. The cravings for drugs and alcohol, and daily struggle to stay clean and sober. Its the battle for a life worth living, especially the days those voices in my head tell me im not worth it. This is me moving away from the person I use to be, and heading towards the person I want to be. This is me learning... to forgive myself for the pain and heartache ive caused everyone around me. This is me growing so I will never again be the cause of so much hurt in peoples lives. Whether you like it or not, this is me. And for once im no longer ashamed of the whole me. No longer hiding both the good me and the bad me. Some days are good and others are a struggle. But I know where im heading and im proud of the path im on. For me, its all about being the whole me. And about being honest about the whole me, not just the good. Years ago, laying in a hospital bed nearly dead, I knew if I had any hope of changing my life around, I would have to be open about everything. Its been a struggle but without this honestly I would already be dead. If any one of you is struggling with anything, mental health issues, addiciton, whatever it may be, reach out to someone. Anyone. Start talking about the whole you. The good and the bad. And if you have noone you feel you can reach out to, then reach out to me. Even if you have never met me, know I got your back, with everything. I have been down the darkest of paths. I know what its like to feel like you have nowhere and noone to turn to. So please, reach out to me if you need. No one deserves to struggle alone.

Here is another installment of: So, lets play a game!!!..... Guess who just got officially accepted to University?!?!... Damn right its this guy!!! WHHHAAAATTTT!!!!! Four months ago, though I was clean and sober, I was still on the streets wondering if I would be able to find any sort of shelter so I wouldnt have to spend a fifth winter on the streets. Definately wasnt thinking about much else, besides trying to register my nonprofit. Since then I have gotten off the streets, registered a nonprofit, started/continued working with some amazing groups and organizations including an amazing project through the art gallery called "walk with me", taken workshops to further my public speaking ability, and now finally been accepted to Vancouver Island University!! So to everyone struggling with mental health issues, addiction, and/or homelessness, take it from me: THIS DOESNT HAVE TO BE WHERE IT ENDS Ive been there, for years, addicted to some nasty drugs, struggling every day with depression, anxieties, claustrophobia, suicidal thoughts and even a number of suicide attempts. Not seeing a way out, not feeling worth anyones help. Thinking even if i did get away from all that, I still wouldnt have much of a life after everything I have been through. In April this year I was so beat down, I attempted suicide again. So keep trying, keep struggling through each day, continue to overcome all the bullshit that a life like ours is full of. Because you can get out. You are most definately worth it. And the possibilities of your life after all this is only limited by your imagination. And if you ever feel like you cant make it through another day, or feel like nothing is worth it, then reach out to me. Honestly, im here for you, and ill always have your back, whether I already know you or have yet to have the privilege of meeting you. I got your back.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=JCQrJANDe2s Ok folks, here you go....a gift for you!! In the spring this year I was asked to be part of a short documentary done by someone in the Youth Media Project run through the Comox Valley Art Gallery about homelessness.... The director, Tara Lee Betancourt is amazing and did an outstanding job. Especially as this is one of her first films. Huge shout out to her for putting up with me while she was pulling all this together. Alongside me is Andrea Cupelli from the Coalition to end homelessness. So have a look, share around. And thanks to everyone for taking the time to check it out

I am fortunate to have a home, wonderful family and two very satisfying jobs...but that is not the case for many others. I recently attended the Comox Valley ...Art Gallery "Walk with Me" event and it was an eye opener and a very moving experience to see and hear the sorrow, struggles and achievements many of our vulnerable citizens face. If you can, please try and attend (schedule online) and see that these folks have at one time been our neighbours, sons/daughters and aunts/uncles...those who we love and still need us. If you are unable to join the gallery to listen to the audio stories that have been shared throughout this project, please visit www.culturalmapping.ca to listen.