Stefaniemiljastherapy

I'm looking forward to continuing the conversation with the absolutely sensational, April Mahoney.

Personal Bill of Rights I have numerous choices in my life beyond mere survival. I have a right to discover and know my Inner Child. I have a right to grieve over what I didn’t get that I needed or what I got that I didn’t need or want.... I have a right to follow my own values and standards. I have a right to recognize and accept my own value system as appropriate. I have a right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe or violates my values. I have a right to dignity and respect. I have a right to make decisions. I have a right to determine and honour my own priorities. I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others. I have the right to terminate conversations with people who make me feel put down and humiliated. I have the right not to be responsible for others’ behaviour, actions, feelings or problems. I have a right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect. I have a right to expect honesty from others. I have a right to all of my feelings. I have a right to be angry at someone I love. I have a right to be uniquely me, without feeling I’m not good enough. I have a right to feel scared and to say I’m afraid. I have the right to experience and then let go of fear, guilt and shame. I have a right to make decisions based on my feelings, my judgment or any reason that I choose. I have a right to change my mind at any time. I have the right to be happy. I have a right to stability___ ie., roots and stable healthy relationships of my choice. I have the right to my own personal space and time needs. There is no need to smile when I cry. It is OK to be relaxed playful and carefree. I have the right to be flexible and be comfortable with doing so. I have the right to change and grow. I have the right to be open and to improve communication skills so that I may be understood. I have a right to make friends and be comfortable around people. I have a right to be in a non-abusive environment. I can be healthier than those around me. I can take care off myself, no matter what. I have the right to grieve over actual or threatened losses. I have the right to trust others who earn my trust. I have the right to forgive others and to forgive myself. I have the right to give and to receive unconditional love. This is from the wonderful book Healing the Child Within by Charles L. Whitfield, M.D.

As we are approaching Mother’s Day, we think about spending the day celebrating our Mom and showing her how much we love and appreciate her. In some families, it can be challenging, especially for those women who have mother-in-law issues. Below is a meditative exercise that I included in my book; Get This Mole (Mother-In-Law From Hell) Off My Back The Must Have (Mother-In-Law) Survival Guide. The purpose of the exercise is to notice what is coming up for you and release an...Continue reading

While most of the world is hunkering down, while we social distance and have more time on our hands. When you're done cleaning the attic, the garage,and the basement. When you're tired of the news, social media, and the line ups at the grocery story are starting to get on your nerves, why not just get in your comfy chair and grab book. Not sure what to read, well I might have what you're looking for. For the ladies: If your husband's mother is driving you bat$#!t crazy and yo...u're just trying to preserve your relationship and your sanity, I wrote this book for you! For the men: I dare you to ask your wife to use five words to describe your mother. Okay, I double dare you! If you don't hear the following: your mother is amazing, loving, caring, wonderful, I love your mother, you might just need this book more. Just saying! Warning: Some readers may be disturbed by the contents of this book. If that's the case, you might just be a mother-in-law from hell. Yikes! If anything you read, hits that nerve...there is wisdom in uncovering what the trigger is for you.

A Non-Sexual Affair When most people think of an affair, they imagine the typical sneaking into a shady motel, followed by a series of lies to explain why it took you four hours to buy milk at Walmart. As a couples therapist, I can tell you there are many different betrayals that can threaten your relationship. Let's consider the Non-Sexual Affair. ... This is when a platonic friendship, such as a work husband/work wife, gets to know intimate details about each others lives. There is sharing and then there is over-sharing! Another example concerns an ex-spouse/partner. In this instance, they never detached from their ex. Signs to look for if the connection/friendship is a sexless affair: -Is the friendship hidden or minimized? -Are questions about the friendship discouraged? -Have your boundaries been disrespected? -Have you asked for it to end and you hit a 'brick wall'? -Did the other person/connection get prioritized over you? -When push comes to shove, does the other person win out over you? As a couples therapist, I feel it's important to bring awareness to the different kinds of betrayals that can jeopardize a relationship and create cracks, some are obvious, others are more subtle, but can leave a mark.