Choices for Sexual Health
19070 Lougheed Highway Pitt Meadows, BC, Canada

Sis, the inability to receive support from others is a trauma response. Your I dont need anyone, Ill just do it all myself conditioning is a survival tacti...c. You needed it to shield your tender heart from abuse, neglect, betrayal, and disappointment from those who could not or would not be there for you. From the parent who was absent by choice or by the circumstance of working three jobs to feed and house you. From the lovers who offered sexual intimacy but no offered no safe haven that honored your heart. From the friendships that always took more than they gave. From all the situations when someone told you were in this together then abandoned you, leaving you to pick up the pieces when isht got real, leaving you to handle your part and their part, too. From the lies. The betrayals. You learned along the way that you just couldnt really trust people. Or that you could trust people, but only up to a certain point. Ultra-independence is a *trust issue.* You learned: if I dont put myself in a situation where I rely on someone, I wont have to be disappointed when they dont show up for me, or when they drop the ball... because they will always drop the ball sooner or later, right? You may even have been intentionally taught this protection strategy by generations of hurt women who came before you. #generationaltrauma #ancestraltrauma Ultra-independence is a preemptive strike against heartbreak. So, you dont trust anyone. And you dont trust yourself, either, to choose people. To trust is to hope, to trust is vulnerability. Never again, you vowed. But no matter how you dress it up and display it proudly to make it seem like this level of independence is what you always wanted to be, in truth its your wounded, scarred, broken heart behind a protective brick wall. Impenetrable. Nothing gets in. No hurt gets in. But no love gets in either. Fortresses and armor are for those in battle, or who believe the battle is coming. Its trauma response. The good news is trauma that is acknowledged is trauma that can be healed. You are worthy of having support. You are worthy of having true partnership. You are worthy of love. You are worthy of having your heart held. You are worthy to be adored. You are worthy to be cherished. You are worthy to have someone say, You rest. I got this. And actually deliver on that promise. You are worthy to receive. You are worthy to receive. You are worthy to receive. You are worthy. Worthy, sis. You are worthy. You dont have to earn it. You dont have to prove it. You dont have to bargain for it. You dont have to beg for it. You are worthy. Worthy. Simply because you exist. I love you. ~J. . Credit: Original image by Rising Woman, reposted from The Womb Sauna. Commentary by moi, Jamila White (FB: @inspiredjamila, IG: @inspired.jamila)

https://link.medium.com/0abJQAucW9

Bad sex is considered to being an occupational hazard of being in a long term relationship. As passions die down its almost expected that things go south in the... bedroom. Do things really have to go this way? I don't believe so, but more to the point I have to agree with Germaine Greer when she said bad sex is as bad as rape. We live in a culture of sexual ignorance. Of course we are fed junk food sex by the porn industry but this is exactly the kind of sex that couples will quickly get bored of. Wham bam thank you mam may work for a quickie or look good on camera, but it won't sustain a relationship. Many of my clients, both men and women, have been married for decades. I notice a pattern. Often men will say they havnt had sex for a good decade and may have a mistress. Women tend to be inexplicably traumatised. I'm talking here about decent men and loving husbands who won't leave their wives despite her refusing in the bedroom. Are men and women just incompatible, is something wrong with the women or do people just not know how to have sex? The standard modern style of sex, which Master Chia calls the banging method as seen in porn, has major draw backs. Its aim is for a often quick male ejaculation and involves banging against the cervix which not only fails to fully stimulate the woman but can be uncomfortable. The woman tenses, shuts down and goes into a trauma response of disassociation. As her body continues to tense over time, she loses the ability to feel pleasure, orgasm and sex becomes painful. This effects her whole body and leads to tissues tensing which effects blood supply and eventually leads to disease and cancer. Meanwhile the man, himself a victim of the toxic masculine and feminine cycle, stopped from expressing himself emotionally, tenses up around his prostate. No wonder prostate and cervical cancers are the most common cancers we see. Man and woman are suffering in ignorance of the true nature of their sexual power and literally dying a slow death. Occasionally couples come to me that have been together for decades and are madly in love and still having great sex. What I notice is that they have retained a childlike sense of curiosity and have managed to perfectly harmonise their love with their sex. The latter of these is the secret of sexual transmutation. Our bodies are naturally designed to transmute and alchemise. But in Western society we seem to have lost this ability thanks to social conditioning, fear and shame. Through taoist sexual alchemy practice we can return to our original programming. We can relearn that original knowledge for health and happiness that we lost. We can learn to experience sexual energy in its innocent and childlike form that heals us, nourishes us, unlocks our creativity and takes us to enlightenment. This is the story of the garden of Eden. It wasn't an apple, it was just bad sex that ruined the place of beauty and innocence. But we can return to that garden when we open our hearts to love and childlike curiosity.

https://www.harpersbazaar.com//amika-george-interview-gi/

The Silent Suffering For so many people sex is the place of silent suffering. For so many men there is still such a stigma, such embarrassment, such shame abo...ut having a sexual problem. For most men this is around erection problems, early ejaculation, loss of desire and libido, a lack of intimacy and even a lack of interest in sex. Sexual performance, sexual prowess. That's what it's become to be about for men. And in truth what it's come to be about is sexual pressure, emotional pressure. And with this comes such deep silent suffering. The healing that so many men look for, if and it's a big if, they seek it out, is a quick conversation where the issues are glossed over, joked about, referred to, alluded to, and then a tablet that's going to fix it, quickly. And so I get that's not enough, nowhere near enough. And so often nothing changes. And so often that's where we leave it. We, men, and male sexuality, is complex. It's physical, it's mental, it's emotional, it's energy. It's the body, the mind, the heart. It's all of who we are. It's our patterning and conditioning and beliefs. It's expectations, often unrealistic, unexpressed, uncommunicated. It's the judgement and comparison of a porn-model of sex that has absolutely, absolutely, absolutely no connection to reality, to intimacy. It's the area of life we generally know the least about, our own sexuality and bodies, never mind our partner's. And this applies regardless of our orientations. We know just as little about cocks as we do about clits. And because of this bizarre expectation we've created that we are all supposed to be sexual superheroes, we suffer in silence, and often, in shame, in isolation and loneliness. I recently had a conversation with a woman, it's not the first like this I've had, who has had no sex with her husband for over 12 years. And there is no discussion. He just won't talk about it. There are so many marriages like that. There are so many relationships where sex is avoided because of things like the fact that he can't keep an erection, orgasms so quickly, has no interest in sex, doesn't want to be intimate or sensual, has no sensitivity and more And in the silence we don't talk about it. We don't know how. And the pressure of performance has put us in this place that we have no idea how to be with this, heal it, change it, and make it different. It doesn't have to be like this, it doesn't have to be this way. The bigger picture of this is the big boys don't cry scenario. The incredibly limiting idea we've been given, and have furthered, that we know how to do everything. And when we don't we don't talk about it. We sit in silence. I sat with a man a while ago who's marriage of 20 years was ending. He was in tears as he realised that he had no idea of how to be a husband. Hi did what he knew, what he thought he knew. The bigger picture is that our sexuality is so connected to every other aspect of our beings and our lives. I love the point of realization that almost every person who does a healing journey with me gets to, and they see that it's all about sex, and it has nothing to do with sex. It takes courage for a man to begin this journey, to acknowledge a sexual problem. I celebrate every man who comes to do this work, who comes to heal, to learn, to grow. And for every one of us who does, it makes it possible for every other man. See more

https://www.theguardian.com//she-began-the-real-sexual-rev

https://www.practicalintimacy.com/how-to-relax-enjoy-rece/

Unrequited love is one of the most painful emotions, causing huge lows, sadness, and a sense of worthlessness. Here is how I see it and hopefully a helpful way ...for you to work through it if you're currently experiencing this kind of heartbreak. Have you experienced this before? How did you deal with it? See more

https://www.lehmiller.com//your-soulmate-is-the-person-who

https://www.oprahmag.com//relationships-love/a30028506/s/

Some great points.. https://youtu.be/PWNyseKvIRI

The menopause has been put on the curriculum for schools in England. Three women tell us why we should all know about it.

Happy World Sexual Health Day! September 4th is World Sexual Health Day. Celebrated in 35 countries around the world, this day is dedicated to promoting sexual health globally. I believe that sexual rights are fundamental human rights. However, these are still denied in many parts of the world.... In order to experience a full range of sexual health, we must have the knowledge to know what that looks like. What do we mean by "sexual health"? Sexual health is a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination, and violence. For sexual health to be attained and maintained, the sexual rights of all persons must be respected, protected and fulfilled (World Health Organization, 2006). Sexual health is part of relational health. It must be integrated into the common definition of overall health and well-being.

ENRAIZADO, DESDE LO PROFUNDO DE TUS AGUAS, ME ENCONTRÉ FLORECIENDO No hay tesoro más grande en la Tierra que tener a alguien que vea hasta tus verdaderas prof...undidades y abrace todo lo que eres; la sombra y la luz se hicieron visibles para el ojo del alma y cada faceta se mantuvo igualmente hermosa ". ~ Ara

Long live Betty Dodson and may you soar in orgasmic bliss through and into the afterlife! https://www.thedailybeast.com/how-is-betty-dodson-the-queen

https://www.lehmiller.com//infographic-rates-of-orgasm-by-

https://www.instagram.com/p/CEXHvfLMhiJ/?igshid=mej56471ufr7

https://www.huffpost.com//habits-couples-hottest-sex-lives

https://www.lehmiller.com//the-history-of-the-clitoris-vid

All boobs are cool boobs. @repost Elle Chase, Sex Educator

#authenticallyme #embraceyourself #selfesteem #youarepowerful #youareenough

There are many choices available to us women in this life but when it comes to your body, there are only two: Accept it Or dont. You see, if you choose to ac...cept your body, you will soon start to love it, admire it, look after it. These things all follow in the wake of your acceptance. When you realise that this vessel for your soul, for your spirit, is an instrument of such high design and fine tuning that it boggles the mind to even think about, you will enter into a phase which I like to call peace, at last. You will care nothing of spare fat, grey hairs, loose skin. You will realise, eventually, that the bodys purpose is not to look good, to attract friends, partners, successes that it is, in fact, your spirit which does all of those things. If you would only allow it to shine through and work its magic. Your body, my friends, has but one job, to see you safely through this adventure of life, to allow your spirit to reach its potential. That is it. If you are on the path of not accepting your body you are in for a very long battle against an enemy you have no power to defeat. Nature, time, biology, fate You dont have the weapons to fight those powers. Wave the white flag. Give in. Accept. It is then that your life will truly begin. #loveyourbody Award winning image, Feather & The Goddess Pool by the wonderful Natalie Grono Words: Donna Ashworth My book is available on amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08BDWY9CP/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_ US: https://www.amazon.com//ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_MykfFbHGYY6

WOMEN WHO TOKE FREQUENTLY HAVE BETTER SEX: STUDY Ottawa Sun 10 Aug 2020 JANE STEVENSON Pot-smoking women have more fun between the sheets, according to a study.... The study in the journal Sexual Medicine found that women who frequently use pot had higher arousal, better orgasms and more sexual satisfaction overall. Im not surprised because my clients have told me this; Ive heard it at workshops, said Toronto sex therapist and coach Carlyle Jansen, who owns Good For Her on Harbord St. Lots of women have said that cannabis really helps them in a few areas. Women report that smoking weed reduces their inhibitions and the CBD in cannabis can help address issues of anxiety and pain, she said. The THC (the ingredient in marijuana that makes people high) helps us to feel more pleasure, said Jansen. A lot of women describe feeling more sensations, feeling more physiological pleasure, which of course is going to increase our satisfaction, make us have orgasms more easily or more powerful orgasms. Certainly, it will boost our desire because were like, Hey, that was really fun, I want to do that again, as opposed to sex being really flat, (then) youre not going to be so excited about having sex again. Researchers conducting the study looked at 452 women in the U.S. who used cannabis regularly. They were invited at their local dispensary to participate in an uncompensated, anonymous online survey between Oct. 20 and March 12 to assess their sexual activity of the previous four weeks. The majority of the women were between the ages of 30 and 49 years (54.7%) and in a relationship or married (81.6%). Of that sample, 72.8% of respondents used weed more than six times weekly, usually through smoking (46.7%). Researchers compared the level of cannabis use with other responses provided by the study group and determined those who consumed pot more frequently reported better sexual function and higher levels of arousal. Of those, some women also reported experiencing less pain during sex. Women have said that cannabis really helps them. Sex therapist and coach Carlyle Jansen

#consentculture #consentmattersmost #sexandconsent #conscioussexuality

https://erikalust.com/summer-sex-bucket-list/

Its not you.. its my trauma Thats what Im thinking but am unable to articulate when the feelings and thoughts are swirling through my head and body like a hurricane. https://link.medium.com/97NqrXoRH8

https://www.lehmiller.com//relationship-red-flags-5-signs-

#orgasmforlife #sexishealthy #sexualhealing #sexualwellbeing #embraceyourself #embracesexuality