Deathcare Kingston

For those working on bringing natural burial to their community.....Green Burial Kingston Ontario

People in the moment tend to think of funerals as: This is what we do, this is what we’ve always done. But of course, that’s not true. Rituals are changing all the time. They just don’t often change so radically over the course of a few months as they are changing now.

I listened to this recently and loved the blend of science and poetry. https://emergencemagazine.org/story/imagining-burial/

Death In The Time Of Covid. My dad, Thomas Bruce Stewart, died on Friday, April 17, 2020 in the wee hours of the morning from leukemia. He had lived for over 87 years, had dementia for the last 10 years, and died at his home, in Richmond Hill, as he wanted. This was made possible due to the commitment of my mum, Cathy Stewart, and a palliative care team led by Dr. Brian Berger with Nurse Olga Spirtous. It was my privilege to be able to care for him during his illness and afte...r his death, along with my siblings Karen Gammage and Ken Stewart. Death in the time of Covid 19 offered additional challenges and I am cognizant of the fact that we were among the fortunate to be able to with Dad through his dying days and after his death. The rituals of sitting with, washing and dressing him after he died allowed us an opportunity to grieve together but none of our spouses or children could be included in that. A few days after his death we gathered, virtually using the Zoom platform, with our partners and children to share memories, cry, laugh, and offer support to my mum. Then, at the hour of his cremation many friends and extended family joined us, each in our own homes, to light a candle or share a toast to Tommy. Creating these new rituals during this pandemic allowed us to feel our community‘s support for us in our mourning time and to include those who, otherwise, might have felt alone in their grieving. Although I have been trained as a Death Midwife (aka a Deathcare Guide) nothing really prepares any of us for the emotional impact of a parent’s death. Thank you to those who have walked this path before me and shared their learnings and inspiration. Death of a parent offers us an opportunity for introspection and reflection and since there is not a rush back to ‘normal’ busy life, I have found that there is even more time for this an unexpected blessing. My dad was a complicated man and he died at a complicated time. I am grateful that we found ways to honour him. Now he is free from sorrow and suffering. Blessed be.