Fishies in a Row

Getting very little done today between this baby (who was held almost constantly over Christmas) and Ignatius (who is readjusting to home by pulling everything out) and I’m trying to just be graceful with myself about the state of the house, and with the kids for their extra needs as we settle into routine again.

Reflecting on this past year, my year of fiat, I feel humbled. It was a year of being broken down, of having expectations stripped away, having my weaknesses laid bare. I’ve taken a step back from blogging, in part to just lean into this season of four five-and-under, and in part because I needed to regroup. I’m really not sure what this new year will hold. Settling into a new community, jumping into schooling at home, raising my babies, falling more in love with my husband -... these things I’m certain about. And I’m certain that He wants me to grow, wants me to focus on n e w a g a i n I think this will be a building year, I have a feeling He’s calling me to a faithfulness in my writing I haven’t yet reached, and I’ll just have to wait to see how that all unfolds. Happy New Year, welcome 2020 May this be a year of vision, a year of new beginnings, of the old being made new again. Do you choose a word to focus on for the year? What’s yours? See more

Five months of delighting in you. I write a poem for all my babies, here’s his// Now here you are, Son number four. A surprise in so many ways, But not in how my heart opened up,... Saw you, for you, For all the good in your being, Just who you were created, To be. Now here you are, The loveliest of little loves, Made for a purpose, Given to us on purpose. You, we see, are good So good in your being, Just being, As you are. Now here you are, The fourth small heartbeat, To flourish into being, So very close to mine. You, I knew, were special The heart my heart needed To just be, As you are. Now here you are, And I am blown away, By the precious gift, Of so good a little soul, So good a wise teacher, showing us the graciousness, The greatness of God, In your smallness. Being, Just as you are, You are good, oh, You are good, I delight in you.

This morning Benedict climbed into bed with Elias and I and the first thing out of his mouth was, owls turn their heads all the way around, like in a circle. Humans can only turn their heads to the sides. Like this was the last thing on his mind when he went to sleep and he just needed to talk it through. Also, how adorable is this outfit Jerome picked for himself?

Five months of delighting in you. I write a poem for all my babies, heres his// Now here you are, Son number four. A surprise in so many ways, But not in how my heart opened up,... Saw you, for you, For all the good in your being, Just who you were created, To be. Now here you are, The loveliest of little loves, Made for a purpose, Given to us on purpose. You, we see, are good So good in your being, Just being, As you are. Now here you are, The fourth small heartbeat, To flourish into being, So very close to mine. You, I knew, were special The heart my heart needed To just be, As you are. Now here you are, And I am blown away, By the precious gift, Of so good a little soul, So good a wise teacher, showing us the graciousness, The greatness of God, In your smallness. Being, Just as you are, You are good, oh, You are good, I delight in you.

Merry Christmas from the Fischers Swipe to see us over the years, oh how we have grown.

This Advent, Ive been struck by how God accomplished salvation in such a quiet way. God couldve revealed His coming to earth in a glorious, irrefutable way. Instead, He carefully revealed His promise (and He had no trouble making it irrefutable then) to the parents, to shepherds, wise men from far away, an old man in the temple, people incapable of convincing anyone the Salvation Promise was at hand.... God couldve come into the world born of a wealthy family, laid in a golden cradle in a palace. Instead, He chose a poor carpenter and young girl. He chose His Son to be born, not even in the modest house of the family of Nazareth, but in a cave, with a feeding trough to hold the Bread of Life. God couldve come in a blaze of glory, a grown man, at the very least, with an army. Instead, He came as a helpless, vulnerable, dependent newborn. Looking at Elias, thinking of how I care for him, carry him, feed him from my very body, clean him when he relieves himself, it just seems impossible that my God humbled Himself to become so vulnerable. Yet He did. God couldve come into a position of power, in His right to rule. Instead, He lived childhood, just like any other. Subject to human parents, He lived thirty ordinary, unremarkable years, years of growth, learning, and obedience, just as we all do. He came in quiet, lived in quiet, just as so many of us do, in order to live a life of service, ministry and anonymity. He didnt come for acclaim, He came to live in utter humility with the shadow of death always over Him. And even now, with Jesus ascended into His place of Glory, God couldve revealed to every heart, right then, the salvation He had fulfilled, the victory He had accomplished. Instead, He stays in the quiet. The knowledge of this incredible gift is left for man to seek in the humility of a personal relationship with Him. It is left unseen, unsought for by so many, scoffed at, held at arms length or in disbelief. God couldve made it irrefutable, impossible to ignore. But His love for us, His desire for our choice, assures He is always gentle, quiet, waiting for us to reach for Him. Merry Christmas, indeed

Waiting for daddy to come home Ive been piling the kids on the couch every evening when it gets to that time of day (you know it), and reading them a stack of Christmas books until my voice gets hoarse. Its been good for all of us to take that moment to slow down, reconnect, focus in, and do something we all really love.... Little tweaks make all the difference. Also, driving up to these three little faces in the front window has to be the best thing in the entire world. It can sometimes feel like Tharin and I have a little anthill going on in here, but I wouldnt trade it for the world.

When Tharin and I became parents we put a lot of thought into deciding we wouldnt be a Santa Claus family. That was before respectful parenting and Montessori became such a big part of our lives, and now that they are, I am even more convinced that we made the right decision for our family. To read about why we decided to not be a Santa family, go to the link in my profile (I know, its been awhile!!)

Ignatius: doesnt talk fluently quite yet, has no problem letting us know when hed like a steamed milk. A *steamed* milk, mom, none of this cold beverage nonsense.

The sweetest, rustic, kid-made Christmas ornaments

Almost at the end of 2019, my year of fiat I have loved using this linear calendar with the kids, it has been such a great visual for the passage of time. Jerome has asked me, more than once, what happens when we get to the end of our wall calendar, if that means we die. ... Which has lead to some interesting discussions about mortality. Getting ready to print off a brand new year, to discern a new word, to start new again.

A while ago I did a fruits of the spirit lesson with the kids and now Jerome asks me to pray for them every night at bedtime. The sweetest thing is that he couldnt say self-control when we first did the lesson and he excitedly told me yesterday, listen mom, I can say it now! Grab a PDF of this poster by signing up for our newsletter this week Link below ... https://blogspot.us17.list-manage.com/subscribe

The other day I was thinking about the books that have most shaped my parenting journey (and I've read a lot of parenting books!), which inspired me to share my top five over on the blog. If you are interested in checking it out, here are my Top 5 Parenting Books to Get Started with Respectful Parenting: https://fishiesinarow.blogspot.com//top-5-parenting-books-

Through learning about Montessori and subsequently, respectful parenting, I have come across so many parenting strategies, tips and quotes that have greatly shaped our home, and brought in so much more peace. I shared my top five respectful parenting points for a more peaceful home over on the blog today. If you want to cultivate a more peaceful home and combat some of that parenting overwhelm, I encourage you to take a look. https://fishiesinarow.blogspot.com//respectful-parenting-t

Hey everyone! I wanted to make sure you had taken a look at my latest blog, answering the question I have heard many times "what if I heard about Montessori when my child was "too old"? It's true that Montessori is geared toward early childhood in many ways, in fact, most Montessori schools are for preschool-aged children, but this doesn't mean that the beautiful philosophy behind the method - the very reason Maria Montessori herself preferred to refer to her findings as a "h...elp to life" rather than a method at all, are perfectly, and beautifully, applicable for children of all ages. And if you want to have updates about new blog posts right to your email address, join the email list. I shared the link a few posts back. https://fishiesinarow.blogspot.com//what-if-i-heard-about-

https://fishiesinarow.blogspot.com//montessori-in-real-lif You might see that child stirring eggs by themselves on an Instagram story, see that caption about a loaf of banana bread made from start-to-finish by a Montessori child and wonder how it is possible. I shared some #realtalk about Montessori kids in the kitchen on the blog last Friday. Give it a read if you're curious!

I was just looking over my post on Why I Don't Believe in the Terrible Twos, and just wanted to re-share it. When Jerome was younger, this was definitely something that came up often, and something I felt really strongly against. He always has been a highly emotional and highly reactive little boy, and I see how positive those aspects of his personality are now, at four. If you are in the midst of the hard days of big toddler meltdowns and impossible communication, I encour...age you to check out: https://fishiesinarow.blogspot.com//why-i-do-not-believe-i And if you'd like to read some of my other posts on tantrums, I gathered them all together here: (https://www.pinterest.ca/fishiesinarow/montessori-toddler//)

Hey Fishies in a Row facebook family, it's been a ridiculously long time since I have posted here, so I thought I would pop on and say, "hi!" I'm still prolifically writing, sharing our Montessori journey, learning about respectful parenting, and you know, growing Fischer boy number four over here! If you want to keep track of us, follow the Fishies in a Row on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/fishies.in.a.row/), Pinterest (https://www.pinterest.ca/fishiesina/fishies-...in-a-row-posts/) or join our email group (http://eepurl.com/diShDD). I'm a little more organized on these platforms. Thank you again for being here, and sorry for the radio silence! Olivia Fischer

Went for a moss-hunting adventure with the boys this morning around my parents acreage and was reminded of many adventures from my own childhood in this very yard. We arent overly prepared for Easter, but Im reading, and talking, and praying with the boys this year, and that feels like enough.

GIVEAWAY Head over to Instagram! As you may already know, we found out the gender of our new peanut this week and I wanted to offer a quick giveaway in conjunction with the reveal. ... The winner will receive a handdrawn picture, done by me, to hang in their home. To enter follow me @fishies.in.a.row and comment your guess on what the gender is. For one extra entry each, tag friends in separate comments, and for FIVE extra entries, join my email list by going through the link in my profile OR by sharing in your stories (click the little paper airplane under this picture.) Contest is open everywhere. Ends Saturday morning at 10:00 AM when I will share our gender reveal video. Be prepared for some serious Benedict cuteness. See more

Yes! Respect the child as an individual, respect his or her attempts to communicate, respect their interests. Children are human beings to whom respect is due, superior to us by reason of their innocence and of the greater possibilities of their future. Maria Montessori

Do you love Montessori, or have you been interested in it, but felt overwhelmed by all the information and rules there seems to be? Do you feel like Montessori is beautiful but unattainable for you and your family? If so, check out the post I shared today with ten ways you may already be implementing Montessori in your family. Or ten core places you can start! https://fishiesinarow.blogspot.com//ten-ways-you-may-alrea... Thank you, Olivia

I just heard a really succinct quote yesterday that I love: Connect then redirect. When your child is displaying big emotions, showing a need that needs to be filled, aka tantruming or testing limits, what can you do to positively help them? Start with connecting. See these moments as times to listen to and talk with your child, to let feelings be felt. And then help them find a solution with redirection. ... I wrote about redirection on the blog today. Link below https://fishiesinarow.blogspot.com//the-power-of-redirecti

Have you heard about respectful or positive parenting, but feel overwhelmed with all the information, with all the aspects of your parenting you would have to work on? If you do, trust me, I've been there as well. And the advice I would give you is to focus on learning about, and applying, one thing at a time. I've heard learning about respectful parenting talked about as something you need to do in "units" - learning to positively think about tantrums, being aware of our ow...n triggers, punishment and praise, giving space, allowing frustration, observing. You don't have to "get it all at once". For me, one of the hardest units for me, one that I am constantly having to revisit, is keeping my own temper in check so that I can share my calm and model healthy emotional regulation. But I had a breakthrough with Jerome the other day that I wanted to share with you, as well as some of what inspires me to think about tantrums as I do. https://fishiesinarow.blogspot.com//growing-closer-to-your

Having written the last post in my Montessori potty learning series for today, I thought I would share the links to each part in the series: 1. Signs of Readiness - https://fishiesinarow.blogspot.com//potty-learning-with-mo 2. Elimination Communication - https://fishiesinarow.blogspot.com//potty-learning-with-mo... 3. No Pressure Ways to Communicate - https://fishiesinarow.blogspot.com//no-pressure-potty-lear 4. Not Using Praise and Rewards - https://fishiesinarow.blogspot.com//potty-learning-with-mo 5. The Distinction between Potty Learning and Potty Training - https://fishiesinarow.blogspot.com//potty-learning-with-mo And last of all 6. Potty Learning from Start to Finish - https://fishiesinarow.blogspot.com//montessori-potty-learn Hope your next potty learning journey can be as peaceful as it has been for me following this method. Olivia

In honour of Valentine's day today, I thought I would post a piece I wrote a few years back, sharing five of the reasons I love my husband. What are some of the reasons you appreciate your significant other? One of the aspects of my parenting mission statement was focusing on gratitude, and communicating this gratitude to my children through how I live. I hope they always know how much I love and appreciate their dad, and how absolutely blessed they are to have a man like hi...m in their lives. https://fishiesinarow.blogspot.com//five-of-reasons-i-love

If you want to learn one of the biggest distinctions between Montessori potty learning and regular potty training, and why it contributes to making the toiletting process so much more joyful (yes, joyful!) for everyone involved, I encourage you to check out my most recent post: https://fishiesinarow.blogspot.com//potty-learning-with-mo

If potty training stresses you out, if you feel like your child just isn't getting it and you don't know how to respond to them when they go (or don't go) on the potty, the newest post on my blog is for you. https://fishiesinarow.blogspot.com//five-steps-to-writing-

Do you find yourself often feeling frustrated and defeated by your child's behaviour? Do you feel like your relationship with your child suffers because of this? If you answered yes, the answer that helped me may help you, as well. Read about it here: https://fishiesinarow.blogspot.com//the-greatest-source-of

With Tharin working out of town, I have been parenting solo, and still managing to have the house returned to a semblance of order every evening. And my kids play hard, making huge messes every single day. Do you want to know how I do it?... I would say, a huge part of keeping a decently clean house with little kids has to do with teaching them to clean up after themselves, and take responsibility for their own messes. Learn how I start this process at a young age with a post from a little while back: https://fishiesinarow.blogspot.com//are-montessori-toddler Have a great weekend! Olivia Fischer

Hello all you beautiful people, what are you up to this Saturday?

I am really excited to share something I have been working on over the past little while. If you ever feel like you are floating (or just barely staying above water) with parenting or that you default to a parenting style you don't feel is effective, you will definitely benefit from a mission statement. Writing a detailed mission statement will enable you to more adeptly point your family in the direction you intend for it, as well helping you narrow down where your time, en...ergy, and resources are best spent. Just click on this link: http://eepurl.com/dmrzKf to sign up for our email list and get the workbook to your inbox within minutes. And to read my latest post for Why Parents Should Have a Mission Statement, go here: https://fishiesinarow.blogspot.com//five-reasons-parents-s God bless, Olivia Fischer

Do you make a list of New Years resolutions? Do you choose a theme or word for the year? I think Im inclined to do a little of both. Read a little about my process for discerning my word for this year and my reflection on the one that came to me over on the blog. Link below ... https://fishiesinarow.blogspot.com//choosing-my-word-to-fo

Eating the last of our Christmas baking this week and getting in a little more visiting. We had a bit of time at home to relax and now we are bringing in the New Year with a few more days with family and friends. Has your holiday season slowed down yet, or are you still celebrating?

Merry Christmas from the Fischers Tharin and I didnt exchange any gifts this year. Ive found it an interesting transition to focussing more on getting really intentional gifts for our children, reflecting more on the true meaning of the season and what it holds for me, and giving the gift of our presence over presents. Feeling grateful not for any physical gift from Tharin, but really just him, for this wonderful man I feel so incredibly fortunate to do life with. After ...a particularly difficult midnight mass, driving home we had such a good talk about our childrens big emotions and why we choose to try and handle them respectfully and with understanding, regardless of the judgement we may feel from others. Its hard to go against the grain. Its hard to be the one standing at the back of the church with a disruptive child, holding space for them without shame. But its a lot less difficult when I can be so on the same page with my partner, so cheers to that. Hope the rest of your holidays are peaceful, with a little bit of space for those big emotions that are bound to happen.

For Jeromes first Christmas I made salt dough handprint ornaments for both grandparents and definitely forgot to make one for myself. For Benedict we never got around to it at all. So I was determined to make a handprint ornament for both of them this year, finally. ... They might not be teeny tiny baby hands, but I have a feeling these small boy fingers will be just as precious in years to come.